Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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