Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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