Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize