; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize