ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
