Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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