clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
don't judge my taste in strippers
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
