How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
