I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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