He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
