If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
