My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize