dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
