Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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