Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I CAN MOONWALK!
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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