You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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