mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
