i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize