The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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