I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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