why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
