I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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