is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
