This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
