maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
