Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
