I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Boobs are out for the taking
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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