I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
