Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
