I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
