you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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