i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
