dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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