I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
