none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize