I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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