I'm gonna have a badass scar
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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