now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
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