Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
