dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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