Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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