Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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