So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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