I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize
