Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
