well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
This baby is an asshole
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize