They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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