Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
