some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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