that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
