She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
