I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
