I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
