I don't think brook has ever known best
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
dude. I can hear the air.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
