In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
