yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Even my vagina gasped.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
