so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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