corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
