Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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