Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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