You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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