A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
