You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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