I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? šš
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
You couldnāt remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders āunlimited hand frittersā if they wouldnāt cut you off.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
