watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize