get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize